The Center Stage

I was thinking so hard to really understand about all the things in this world but i was stuck and speechless and really cannot get the result why and always that question coming and playing in my head : but why ? but why ? but why ? the nearest thing is a friend ship between woman, i don't know how about man and man, but so far man and women friendship was easier and far from intrigue, but when women whatever she was act so masculine, but they were still women who still falling love with a man, so they were never be like a man, they only wear all the mans clothes to make them comfort but they can't be the man and women friendship which is more easier,

From a kid until now i always have a two kind of friend, the masculine one we use to call "tomboy" in indonesian, and the girlie one, they must be a kind of different and i always have a problem if i need to go with both of them, so sometimes i always make an option on my schedule, if i wan't to go with my masculine one, i prefer don't go with the girlie one, and i made it, i never on between cause it would be not so easy to do. And how about me ? i was not so masculine, i'm poor on technical things, i don't even ride a motorbike and drive a car, i would be stress if i have to play an extreme sport or game, but i'm not also that girlie one, i don't do make up, i don't wearing dress much, and i also only wear a high heels in the 3 of first week working day, i prefer my self on causal, simple, but eye catching sometime, anyway !

And yeah back to the friendship, i was so confusing with all my girl friends, they were sometimes so nice and fun, but in the other time, they were always try to be a main stage, and i keep have a question "why?" cause they can just throw me as far as they want, when they really need to be a center stage for some reason i never know...i though they were my friends as i always try to do the best, maybe a lot of time they feel they were spending their money too much for me but i have already do the hardest things that they can't get from everyone out side...and even i always bring all the moneys back even when they need it or not, unless i didn't owe anythings from them...unbelievable !

And the worst think they can talk about they don't need to talk to someone we both know about the negatives things on me even i don't mean to do or to talk like that, but they were act like a hero when they talk about what i do which is could be a mistake and it was so miserable, I REALLY DON"T UNDERSTAND !!! if they were really friend of mine, they should be know me better cause i was do the same thing even that's true or they really mean when they made a bad things but i would not talk with anyone we both know, or even make any other version to make them more bad than we ever know...but what i don't understand THEY DID IT TO ME...

Please God ! i love to be friend of them, but just give me a reason why...why it's really need to be a center stage and make them forgot that i was be a friend of them as much as i can, why it's so important to be a center stage to make they could throw me as far as they can, i was a friend ! and all i wanted also have a truly friend ! why it's look so difficult for them just to be a honest !



Was so sad with a bad reality of women friendship i had
Petitenget,23 June 2010