being what i am

be however
do whatever
live wherever
love whoever

Life is so simple
even when you were single
you don't have to see any other couple
Cause you were simple

face the world
face the truth
be your truly you
just being you

Setulusnya hati

Setulusnya hatiku
Ingin menjadi yang ter...entah bisa atau tidak menjadi itu
Setulusnya hatiku
Ingin membuatmu ter...
namun tak pernah tahu bagaimana caranya

Setulusnya hatiku
Ingin kamu merasa ter...
Tetapi aku tersesat di jalan menuju hatimu
Setulusnya hatiku
Mau kamu dan aku jadi ter...
Lagi lagi aku tak pahami haruskah aku mengerti

Setulusnya hatiku
terlanjur tak bergeming
terlalu tak merasa
terbiasa menjadi gamang

Setulusnya hatiku
Terpaut entah dimana
Terjebak di jalan yang tak berujung
Tersisa hanyalah tanya terakhir
"Tuluskah aku?"

Dear Dhie

Dhie...
Hey, ini gua lagi...
Gua sakit lagi...
Gua rapuh lagi...
seperti waktu itu lagi...

Dhie...
(terbatuk) gua sesak lagi
sesak ini mulai buat gua muak
tapi gua terjebak...

Dhie...
lo serupa wonderland
but you are never land
lo imagi gua
gua ngga berharap lo nyata

Dhie...
november 1995 itu lo pergi
15 taun gua rindukan lo
dan lo tetap di entah berantah

Dhie...
kl gua ngga salah sekitar pertengahan 1995 kita ketemu
Shit dhie..bahkan lo yang slalu indahpun gua hampir lupa
gua ngga tau dhie...padahal lo selalu indah
itu kenapa gua ngga harap lo nyata...

Dhie...
mungkin dalam nyata kini lo cuma orang kampung
berkeluarga dengan perempuan berjilbab
menjadi keluarga dengan rutinitas biasa
hidup dengan seharusnya...

Dhie...
sementara gua keluar dari realita
menurut gua yang lain gua telah serupa durjana
tapi gua merindukan sederhana
apa adanya namun please tanpa air mata

Dhie...
air mata itu tetap bersahabat
si pemurung itu selalu jadi pemarah
si kalah yang mau menang sendiri
menyadari benar bahwa memang resmi jadi pecundang

Dhie...
i miss u


Untuk Dhie...
dengan nama kampungan lo : Syaifurrohman, it was such a fantastic islamic name, should be ? but you were always be Hamdhie Hamdhanie as you original name before from your parents or i don't even know your name at all....but just missink you...

Gua gak tau mau apa lagi

Sometimes i feel like i have got all things what i need
Pleasure, nutz, shit, everythings
being fanatik, do all the kinds of prays, learn, working,
I am all of i wanted to be

But then i feel alone...
i feel like enough
everythings done now
don't want to find another else

I really need someone who really can i talk to
heart to heart
find the differences of any opinion has made
find the result to be comfort in the right way

Geez...

Escape

trying to escape its not the way you run...
if you really wanted to save then face the truth
the big mistake of find solution for any problem is leave
if somebody has push the button start so you must play and make the game over
Its not an advice but its an experience
life its not about the past and future but its about the present
be taught, be independent, brave heart is needed to get what you should get
Give what you supposed to give, but don't leave before the time
Cause time will wake you up and make you realize that you still alive
If you wanted times on your side well get it...let it flow with you
and don't let it kill you, don't miss a thing...
only you who really know who you are, ain't no body 'bout you
that's why you have to drive your own roller coaster
you absolutely know where do you start and when you have to stop
YOU MAKE DECISION...take a risk...life would be fun and color full when you get mad
be strong, be whatever you can be...don't judge, just walk...
its only about you, being alive in God's facilities,
and it's not about escaping your self to be a looser, cause you are not !

I need to talk

Mendadak gua kehilangan sesuatu dalam hidup gua, bukan cinta, bukan ambisi, bukan obsesi
bukan semuanya, gua cuma ngerasa sesuatu udah ilang dan gua ngga tau itu apa
Thinking about my self, now and after, present and future, geez i don't even know what i wanted these time, i'm fuckin bored
Ingin menghentikan waktu sesaat agar gua bisa mikir sejenak, istirahat
all the single thing now feels nothing, and i'm wondering...
Enough..i really need to meet my whole package, i need to go back home...feel the breathe of my home town, face all my past...face the truth...nantangin semua hal yang gua tinggal lari dulu, selesaikan yang masih belum terselesaikan, sekedar untuk gua bisa bilang " ya udah lah..."
My whole package doesn't need treat me like my parent, he just need being there as my angel, keep me save and warm...God Damned i knew he was there with all the wrong woman...i know he also wait just like me...